Friday, September 26, 2008

Could be worse...

My country's economy could be inextricably tied to a much larger economic system which is fundamentally flawed and run by a gang of poorly-trained apes.

Oh, wait.

Well, fuck.

UPDATE: Marcy Kaptur is my kinda lady.


We went to Pittsburgh last weekend to see the Iowa Hawkeyes play a game of football against the Pittsburgh Panthers. I have yet to see the Hawkeyes emerge victorious from a contest. This may be due in part to my only ever having seen three games (two in bars, one in person). The 21-20 defeat was notable for having been the first football game I have ever attended. It was exciting. We stood up and sat down repeatedly. Katie coached me on the correct things to shout (useful phrases are: "Go, defense!", "Let's go Hawks!", "Go, Hawkeyes!", and "Go, D!"; less helpful were my original exclamations: "Yay!", "You're doing very well!", and "You are going to win!"). After every Pittsburgh first down or Iowa third down, they would play a panther snarl sound effect. Absolutely hilarious. Pictures forthcoming.

Finally made an effort at recapturing Hiro Nakamura's first moments in New York City.
Dammit, I was too far back. At least I was facing the right way. Hey, there's Andrew on the left! Anyway, yatta! Sort of.

My sister Jessica has finally escaped the flash-embedded clutches of the Book of Faces and bravely staked out a claim of her own in the wilds of the larger internets. Applause, please, for her new website. (I still abhor the word "blog.") If she's good, she may be in line for the second-ever OaAfTE. You can also nominate websites for the Award in either the comments or by e-mail.

I discovered a couple of new games this week. Adult Swim have created a sequel to the diverting Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself). Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) 2 has you attending a horrfying family reunion in a park. The only way to escape? You guessed it: suicide. But hurry! Song-singing and family-picture-viewing begins in only five minutes!

Second, the boringly-titled Z-Rox has you trying to identify letters, numbers, symbols and shapes as though you were viewing them through a tiny slit. Katie and I got up to Level 50 last night before going to sleep. (When you click on the link, hit the tiny grey "Play!" to start the game, not the huge ignorant "CLICK TO PLAY!")

I'm a huge fan of Ben Croshaw's Zero Punctuation, so when I first heard of this anonymous series called "Zero Originality", I scoffed and passed it by. That was unfair. Beneath the blatant rip-off lies an honest and insightful look into the inner workings of that McDonald's of video game stores, Gamestop. I'm not sure if you've ever had dealings with Gamestop, and if you haven't: good, keep it up. If you have, then you probably already know what's wrong with that particular merchant. Suffice to say, the employees at the Gamestop on Myrtle Avenue near our house made someone important to me cry once, and I'll never bring my business there again. Blah blah blah, watch the videos, they're interesting. (The first one, however, has been removed from youtube, so start with the second one.)

Check out this game. (This is primarily for Katie, Abby and Jessica.)

Still. Pretty sweet, huh?

Speaking of sweet, gaygamer.net posted a video of the recent promotion for Kirby Super Star Ultra for the DS. It involves soap and helium and broke my mind when I first saw it. Totally wicked.

Saw this on the walk home from the subway one day:
Nice.

Nintendo has a new Wario game coming out for the Wii. It's a platform game (think Super Mario World), but the youtube video showing some gameplay is one of the most creative things I've seen in a while. (Protip: watch the whole page, not just the video window.)

And when I first saw this I thought I had missed a few months and it was April 1st again:
Seriously? Fuck me, then. Check out Romper Stomper there on the left. Here's the blurb from Ubisoft's website: "In Imagine Party Babyz (Nintendo Wii, October 2008) girls can play as a babysitter and take care of adorable babies. Entertain the babies through hilarious mini-games such as swings, tricycle races, monster chases in babies' dreams, dancing and soap bubbles contests."

GIRLS can play as a babysitter. What's next? "Imagine Subservient Housewivez"? "Imagine Conservative Hockey Momz"? This is the same company that created Beyond Good & Evil, Assassin's Creed and Prince of Persia? Day-um.

Hey video game companies: STOP TREATING WOMEN AND GIRLS LIKE IDIOTS.

A-hem.

Last thing (before I go lie down for a bit). All this talk of the Large Hadron Collider (which is now, sadly, offline until next year) has lots of people asking: what does a gluon look like? What about this mysterious Higgs boson we've heard so much about? Well, the truth is, those particles are way too small for light to hit, so they actually, technically, don't look like anything. Weird, huh? Anyway, that's not about to stop these weirdos from making plushies of all the relevant theoretical particles. The tachyon, Higgs boson and strange quark are the coolest.

And a discussion of weird plushies wouldn't be complete without at least mentioning the Giant Microbes. One of the only opportunities you'll have to give someone the clap and not lose a friend/lover because of it.

That's all I've got for now! Thanks for visiting!

Now fuck off.

Love, Adam
Objection!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Jessi said...

I updated my blogspot friday, but was in a rush and managed to forget to send an email. Not sure if you checked it.
:)

3:40 pm, October 07, 2008  
Blogger AdamFireFist said...

So, wait. You didn't have time to send an e-mail, but you had time to come on here and leave a comment?

You are the weirdest person, Jessica.

7:53 am, October 08, 2008  

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